A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

Women's rights.

Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

What didn't last long? You in the bed

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

What is bad at catch The twin towers

Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

NEVER

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

So, a black guy walked into a bar. "Ouch," he said.

How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

French people.

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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