Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops