What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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