Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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N-E Pats never cheated

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what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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lets bomb africa

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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