A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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The WNBA

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The chicken crossed the road.

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

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How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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