Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

there are 2 men standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is called Peter

why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

Y did the first squarl fall out of the tree? It died Y did the 2nd squarl fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Y did the 3rd squarl fall out of the tree? Peer presure. Why did bobby fall off his bike? He got hit by 3 squarls Y did bobby die? He got run over by a truck:)

What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...