Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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save me from the nothing ive become

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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This is just like Facebook. If you guys want to like comments, or even comment on them, just get Facebook.

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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like this if you think what ever you want to..

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops