Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops