A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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what sucks? things that suck

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops