How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

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What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

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Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

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Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

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Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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