Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

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OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

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girls lacrosse

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What's funnier than the world ending? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

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What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Cripples are lame.

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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Theres a man with 2 eyes.

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Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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