World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

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there was a little girl walking through a park. then she was kidnapped and most likely raped and sold to a foreign country.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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What did the fat black man do? Get a gym membership.

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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Please ignore this statement.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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