Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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