I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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THEN WHO WAS FONE?

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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ask me if im a door yes

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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