What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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123457

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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acuna

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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