What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

thumb_up thumb_down -73

A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Wumbo

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops