What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

a blond girl walks into a bar

What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

why did kyle and jake have sex? Because they were gay.

Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, 32!

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...