Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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poop.

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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(insert antijoke here

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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