A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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smug face >:}

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How do you see a black man in the dark? You dont

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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Whats the difference between and anti joke and a joke? There two different things.

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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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