An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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Women's Rights.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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a horse nibbled a baby

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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