Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

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Right now I'm walking down a road shoot car rhendhhdgfgdyxchdhsggggggggggggggggggggggggg

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Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Minutes later, cops come in and arrests the poor man for not paying his bill while the deaf man sits at the bar calmly drinks his beer.

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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A man walks into a bar, then he leaves and goes home

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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Man 1: What's the difference between an elephant and a mailbox? Man 2: I don't know. Man 1: You'd make a terrible postman

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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