Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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