A pedophile walks into a daycare

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whats 2+2? 4

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

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What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A baby seal walks into a club.... Oh....

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Penis

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

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What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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I just can't stand sitting down!

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why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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