How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Q: What did Delaware? A: A black dress. She was on her way to her father's funeral.

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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Wolf Pussy

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How do you confuse a blonde? Very carefully.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Do you know what they say? Words

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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8

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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