- Anti Joke

Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Dani Barton is a heart breaking 13 yr old.

you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

maddie latino

wanna hear a joke: women's rights

It's long!

How do racist jokes start? Generally with a racially insensitive stereotype.

Why did the old lady but her Jelly In her roller skates and dress them up like a doll? She has Dementia

Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

I have two hands. Some people dont.

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

Your mom is so fat the only time she saw 90210 was on a scale.

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

i tped this with my toiung. now i hve germs

Why Is Jarrod spencer gay Coz he is

co jo kurwa tocza?

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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