A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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A fat mexican man runs a marathon. Later, he is hit by a bus and raped by a squirrel.

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

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Guess what? What? Nothing.

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How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

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1unno;njfjk

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F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

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What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

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why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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Why didn't the teacher ask where Billy's assignment was? Because Billy died last week. -B

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Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

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Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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