What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

The Qur'an

What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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