whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

hi jonny

A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

ur gey

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

Why did Hitler hate Jews? Because he use to get bulied by them when he was in high school.

Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

Should a pole bump an alarm?

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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