Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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