How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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If I had xray vision I'd go to a black jack table and when the dealer dealt everyone there cards I would look at the hot girls boobs

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Ben Corbishley

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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What's the best type of silence in a family? None, all families should be open in communication.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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Whats worse than sourcraut? Casey Anthony.

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Your mother is so classy, when I asked her to order at a fast food drive through she decided to park the car a eat inside.

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Why was the black man in the hotel so upset? I shit on his chest.

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

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roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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