Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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Why did the black man get a life sentence in prison? Because he was involved a mass stabbing in a night club London which saw 4 local teenage girls lose there lives.

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What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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What happen to the ginger after he posted a joke? He was put in jail for 6 months, and analy raped in prision!

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

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Whats Obama's last name?

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Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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