What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why Can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

thumb_up thumb_down -4

2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a pig ate a hobo, the hobo was a blind rapist from canada

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats worse than gill? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Colussi miss school for 2 years? -Because he died

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops