What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. They both died at the same time in a horrible shipwreck. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down +205

Robert Palmer: Doctor, Doctor! have you heard the news? Doctor: Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +240

41

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Person 1: Did you hear the one about the guy who drank vinegar? Person 2: No Person 1: Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +273

A girl's opinion is respected.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped a KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? Generally one, but as the situation varies so does the number.

thumb_up thumb_down +167

How do you kill a Jew? Shoot him in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -154

Which is Taller ? the Giraffe or the Lion is faster ?

thumb_up thumb_down -226

Your mom is so hot your daddy married her and they lived happily ever after

thumb_up thumb_down +149

Why did little justin fall off his bike? because a terrorist threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +198

Q: Why couldn't Sally ride her bike? A: because Sally has Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +168

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -132

Two jewish men walk into the butcher shop. They buy a pound of ground beef and nothing else.

thumb_up thumb_down -191

j

thumb_up thumb_down -238

Q: Why did the turtle cross the road? A: Doesn't matter, got hit by car.

thumb_up thumb_down +162

Why didn't the Asian student ask for a calculator? Because he was busy washing the dishes and thought a calculator would be completely inappropriate for the situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +323

What's green and stands in a corner? A naughty frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +155

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonders house? I have it's actually really nice

thumb_up thumb_down +56

There once was a man from peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he awoke with a fright in the middle of the night to find he had eaten the gel packets that came with them and died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Why is Justin Bieber better than Freddie Mercury? Freddie Mercury is dead. Justin Bieber is still alive. Also Freddie Mercury is ugly and Justin is hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -386

Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

thumb_up thumb_down +92

What happens when a Republican accidentally walks into a Gay/Straight Alliance meeting? The man asks if he is in the right place. He apologizes and then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +191

When you see it... YOU'LL HAVE AN ORGASAM.

thumb_up thumb_down -206

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops