what do you call a cow? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

thumb_up thumb_down -88

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -150

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +213

What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

thumb_up thumb_down +129

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

thumb_up thumb_down -173

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

thumb_up thumb_down +38

You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops