what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Its true, he didnt write that!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops