Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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What's 9+10=? 19

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There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

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anne hatthaway

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a

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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Blarg

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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what do you say when you see a winner weaner

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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