What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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C'est l'histoire d'un français paumé qui se retrouve sur un site anglais.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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Yo mamma's so black, and that's ok. We're all different and unique.

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Why did the black guy fail his math test? Because he did not study enough and as a result was no prepared to take a test on that material.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from a sky-scraper Q:he dies

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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Your momma so fat she's fat

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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A horse walks into a bar... it was accompanied by a blind man for it was a seeing eye pony and the bartender who was not tolerant to blind people turned away the man causing him to recieve dirty glances from the kindly patrons of the bar.

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What's worse than losing your phone? Getting raped anal until phones fall out

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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