whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

Hey, we're both lawyers.

Vagina-Boob

How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

Wy do boys like big butts ? Cause it goes in easy :.:

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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