How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? nothing he ain't already told her twice....

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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What did the tree say when it was cut down? Nothing, it's a tree

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A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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what did the Mexican fire fighter name his two kids? Jose and Josbe

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Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

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is it big enough to have sex in????

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Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

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Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: One leg is both the same.

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Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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The horse's name was Friday

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Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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dj miky

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no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

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Why did Debby drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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