You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

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What did the tree say when it was cut down? Nothing, it's a tree

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Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Nothing, they never met! :)

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: One leg is both the same.

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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roses are red violets are blue chickens are white and yellow trees are green and brown my yellow shirt is purple oh shit my dog died

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What would happen if you threw 50 plates off of your roof? Nothing. No one in their right mind would do that. Besides, who owns 50 plates?

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why couldn't the man rock climb? he didn't have hands

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A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

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Why did Debby drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.

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Why was the alpaca sad He just got raped

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is a real guy. Sorry kids.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Peoples' bad attempts at Anti-Jokes.

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Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

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Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

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What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

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A man and a prostitute walk into a bar. they have a few drinks then proceed to a hotel room where the man has sexual intercourse with the woman in exchange for money. The man then leaves while the woman stays in the hotel room and cries cause she hadn't achieved any of her dreams or life ambitions.

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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why did the 70 year old white barber refuse to cut the black man's hair... It's because the old man's wife died just two weeks prior to this appointment and he is not in the current mental state to be wielding a pair of sharp sicors near another man's neck. This has happened many times between him and his customers in the past week, and his client base is lessening because of this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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