Whats better than winning a gold in the special olympics? Not being a retard

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So I was making this bagel right?And my dad walks in while I'm making this bagel(cause we're in a rush you know?) and he's yells"HURRY UP!!!!"I'm like man.... I sure do got alot of YELL in my bagel .

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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say it aloud and fast: •im sofa king stew ped •ice bank mice elf •alpha Q •mike hunt •mike ock

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What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

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how did the girl fall off the swing. BECAUSE SHE HAD NO ARMS HAHAHAH

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what do u get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant a genetically disformed animal comes out who dies shortly after

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I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

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Three men walk into a bar because they were all blind.

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Ching Chong Chinaman sitting on a wall. Along came the white man and greeted him hello.

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A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? cause 789! no, not anymore, didn't you hear? 6 and 9 got together last night and 8 eachother.

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What's the worst thing to find in an empty box? Nothing,It's empty

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What did the creepy old man do to the child? Took him to baseball practice

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

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I'm Halarious.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing.He's dead.

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What did my mom say when she walked in my room? You smell like body oder.

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A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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