Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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I am black.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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suck my dick.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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womens rights

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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