Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

Max Head fingered himself, HAH

What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...