A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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Your mom went to college

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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I ordered the "Anti-Joke" book Jk, waste of money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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