What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops