My mum is called Steve

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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