BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

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How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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Haikus are easy But they don't always make sense. Refrigerator.

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

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What do you call a camel with three humps? A deformed bactrian

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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My mum is called Steve

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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