Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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So I was walking down the road today

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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You idiot thats 9 letters

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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