Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Jewish man, a christian man, and a buddist man walk in bar, They all have to much to drink and are arrested for driving under the influence while trying to get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's red, black, and green all over? A dead black bear. Just no green.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Sure. A: Do you want to hear a short one or a long one? B: uh... a short one. A: joke. Do you want to hear a long one? joooooooke.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was the boy sad? because his penis was stapled to a coffee table

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get hanging from an apple tree? Sore Arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops