How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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Why do I hate food? I don't.

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a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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http://i.imgur.com/BJsbT.jpg

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

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What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

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A black man walks into a... nevermind, this joke is dumb.

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Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops