An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

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Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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The Game.

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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